Daily Life

What Does ‘Sexiness’ Really Mean?

And so valentine’s day is here. Everyone is supposed to be loving and all. Don’t forget to stop celebrating Love tomorrow, for we ‘celebrate’ it only for 24 hours per year. Oh well, moving on.

I was watching some music videos on Youtube when some thoughts struck me.

Is ‘sexiness’ subjective? What is sexiness for me? Is it just some naked bodies moving around? Is it just based on mere objects? Is it emotional? Is it just about how that person dresses and how much meat they show? Should we rise above our animalistic instincts?

Despite the biological aspect, I concluded that sexiness for me is affection and intimacy. It is the feeling you get when you are close to someone with whom you can bond. It encompasses confidence, trust, care, and joy. Everything else just looks dehumanizing, undignifying, and sad.

Sexiness is an experience; it relies on the connection between two people. Sexiness is not an exclusive property of people with big breasts, six-packs, or thin thighs. Everyone can be sexy, depending on the experience.

OK, let me illustrate this through examples:


Exhibit A:

“There’s something weirdly beguiling and beautiful about this.”

Exhibit B:

“I love this video. It’s a beautiful blend of gracefulness and a representation of the violence in some relationships. I find myself watching it again and again.”


Exhibit A:

“I think we’d be better off watching porn.”

Exhibit B:

“Third most watched video.. Wow.”

You might say that I’m confused between two concepts: Love and Attraction. Well, is there a clean cut? I personally do not see one.

Your thoughts?


3 thoughts on “What Does ‘Sexiness’ Really Mean?

  1. Hmmm. i definitely agree to sexy being a personal reaction to a human being. what is ugly to me might be hot to you. But, first impressions says it all and I do think sexy is how I look at the other person and if we like what we see and we desire what we see then it is sexy. i think. now i am confused. so sexy is the ignition of lust? maybe. but it definitely requires less clothing and more flesh. in order for the animal instinct to surface, we need the senses to get busy.

    • Hmm. I could agree with ‘sexy’ being the ignition of lust. However, I don’t think it’s related to flesh and clothing (could be for you, not for everyone though). We perceive things through all our senses, and so it is logical to expect sexiness to be delivered through these senses. One could hear a person’s voice on the phone and think that he/she is sexy. Same with smell, touch, etc.
      People are different, and that’s what makes life so amazing 😉

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